Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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