I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
