she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hippo gnu deer
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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