I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
