Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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