I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
