I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
