i think my mom watched the whole time
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
