drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
