i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
