On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
zippers are such a cool invention
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
