I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize