I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she woke up with a sticky ear
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
