Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
