My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
