Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
