Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up under a house in Key West
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