my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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