so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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