I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
