We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
