Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
