Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
