her vagine was all disorganized.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
