She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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