apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
