tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
