i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
