He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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