you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
