I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
