before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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