Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
