im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
