If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
