I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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