I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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