I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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