Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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