So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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