Just cropdusted the office
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
