You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
