Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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