Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I look excited, but its just a facade.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
