OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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