Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found your dick twin last night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
