Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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