Who did Billy Mays play for?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
