You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
