we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
