How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
