I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
