Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
