I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
