I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
