her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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